Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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