what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

this is stupid .... yep

Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

what is brown and wet? Muddy water

Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

What did Washington say to California? WC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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