A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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im gay

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When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops