Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

FOX News: Fair and balanced

How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

Haha, I get it..

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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