My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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