What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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