This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Why did the

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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Heskey time.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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