Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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