What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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A man buys a prius

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Q. who's george porchy?

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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Justin Bieber

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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