Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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