Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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YOU

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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Why id the Jew keep putting his name at the end of anti jokes? He was an attention seeking big nosed virgin kunt

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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A man makes a sandwich.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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