What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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Im batman...suck it losers

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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