what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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Poop!!

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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