Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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children burning

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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