A snake walks into a bar

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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what's red and blue? your heart

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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anti jokes

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I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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