Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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What did I do last night?work

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What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops