what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

who farted your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +80

A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

thumb_up thumb_down +60

haha, you're an orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +54

a man walked into a bar "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops