What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Womens' rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

thumb_up thumb_down +24

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops