What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

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2

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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