What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Paul Dylan King!

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Nobody cares.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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