If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Star Wars

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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Write your own

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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