A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

where do the women go? the womanarium

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down +13

9/11/01 walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I am a real homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Don't rape me!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Communism

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops