Knock Knock. Shut up.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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