What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Time flies like a banana.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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The Economy

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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why did the man die? he got shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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