What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

666

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My butt!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock hows there sorry but i was to lazy to think of an ending

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats young and never moved? still born baby

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is brown and smells? Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops