What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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I have a really funny joke.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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Knock Knock.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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