teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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