SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

Cripples are lame.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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