How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops