why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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Womens rights

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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