Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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black people swimming

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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cool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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