Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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If life gives you lemonade.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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