What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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