when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

asians have slitted eyes lol

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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