a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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