Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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White men's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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NEVER

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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i'm hard

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops