I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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