what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

I have a really funny joke.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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