What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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