how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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