What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops