Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

roses are black violets are black i am blind

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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