A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

What's worse than this That :(

Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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