A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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