Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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