How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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