How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops