How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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How old are you? 7

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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ever tried african food? they neither

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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