What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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Screw it you write the joke.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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96

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Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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