What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats white and sticky? a white stick

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops