Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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