A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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