What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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