Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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