why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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