What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Your big dick.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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