A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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