Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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