What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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