What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops