what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

What's better than a stick? A stone

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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