so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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