How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops