A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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