Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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