A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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123 f*ck off

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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