Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

These Jokes suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops