Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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