Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops