Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops