Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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