A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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NEVER

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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