I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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