If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +9

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops