Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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